Week 9: Don’t Jump

Happy Sunday! Or, if you’re a teacher like me, Unhappy Last Day of Vacation Before Real Life Resumes! I should probably be working on my lesson plans or updating my literacy stations for this semester but there’s just too much in my head that has to come out first. So, thanks for being here to help me wade through it all. #externalprocessor

A week or so ago, I went on a really nice date with a really nice man. There’s plans to go out again but that won’t happen until my next day off of work which isn’t for a few more weeks. So until then, I’m in an awkward limbo stage. One date does not equal exclusivity, even if it was an 8+ hour date (a fact I confirmed with this man. Mary warned me that one should typically not ask these types of questions but truly, I don’t care. And he was gracious about it, very clearly communicating his opinion on the subject and assuring me that while we weren’t exclusive, he did like me and was excited about getting to see me again).

Now what?

No, seriously, I’m asking: what do I do now?

I feel conflicted. I’m not saying that this particular man is the man who will be my husband – I think you’d need to have me committed if I was making that claim after knowing someone for a matter of weeks. And I’ve met a few new people on both christianmingle.com and eHarmony.com who seem nice enough, but there’s something intriguing about this other guy. I like him.

Ugh. I’m such a girl.

I’m a very impatient person. Having a plan at all times is a necessity and I thrive when there’s structure, stability, and security. But I have no way to plan for this and in the absence of a plan, I jump back. I analyze every conversation and decide that they all point to not what’s obvious (that this has potential) but to something negative. If I let myself, I will sabotage every relationship I have, whether it’s a friendship or something romantic.

The point of that entire last paragraph is that by admitting that this is my pattern, I can change it. It’s possible that there’s nothing beyond a second date with this particular man, but I can’t count myself out before I find out.

Yeah. Not a bad week, but not a happy, bubbly fun week. Thank goodness for the distraction of work that starts again tomorrow!

And, because I can’t close out one of these posts without something ridiculous that’s happened, one of the guys I’m talking to on christianmingle.com can’t spell. Like, pretty much at all. I’m not the best speller ever but I know that neighbor isn’t spelled “naubor” and this guy doesn’t. It makes me question his claim that he has a Bachelors degree.

Alright, I can only procrastinate finishing my lesson plans for so long. Thanks for giving me the space to work through these thoughts. And for not judging me out loud or to my face. 🙂