I catch myself staring at my engagement ring a lot. It’s new, acquired only two Saturdays ago when the man I love more than I ever realized I could love someone got down on his knee as asked me to be his forever. It’s shiny and beautiful, a piece he had designed especially for me. I love it and everything it represents. Sometimes I can’t believe that it’s real, that this man loves me and wants me to be his bride, but it is. Promising to be his forever was the easiest decision I’ve ever made.
One of my students asked me today during our class’s morning meeting if I was planning to come back and teach at the same school after I get married this summer. It was a question that caught me off-guard because I didn’t think my kindergartners would consider me not coming back to be a possibility. Apparently, my kids are ridiculously good at drawing conclusions. I knew I couldn’t lie to my kids, so I told them the truth: I’m not coming back next year.
The plan had always been simple: when he was ready, the Boy would move up to my city (remember: he currently lives 2.5 hours away from me). After all, I love my job, my family lives here, and (the clincher) I own my home. Plus, my city is just better than his, an opinion shared by many people. After he felt settled we’d get engaged, then married, and then start a family. Our [read: my] plan was perfect. And then his company handed him a promotion that we couldn’t say “no” to. I really mean “handed,” too. He didn’t apply for a new position, his boss just called him in, told him how awesome he was and that she wanted him to be in charge of this huge project. And after a lot of discussion (and a lot more prayer), we decided to do what was best for both his career and our future family and have me relocate instead.
I don’t want to leave my job. I don’t want to leave my home. I absolutely don’t want to leave my family. But my desire to marry Andy so overwhelmingly outweighs the “don’t want”s in my life that it’s a no-brainer. It doesn’t mean that it’s easy to walk away from the town I’ve lived in for the past 14 years and the people I’ve shared my life with, just that I know it’s the right decision, and I have peace about it.
This is about a month earlier than I planned to announce this (thanks, kindergarten!) so please, don’t be sad. Be excited with me that I’m engaged, that I get to spend the rest of my life with a man I love more by the day, and that I’m one step closer to getting to be someone’s mommy. Let me revel in all of these things, and revel with me, because it’s just more fun that way. There will be time in the future to be sad and to miss each other terribly, but it’s not today.