[This blog post is, in part, for Mary. It’s the type of post she’s mentioned wanting me to write (a la Joy the Baker) and since I used her as a reference in my recent summer job search, I figure I owe her.]
I’ve been incredibly stressed lately looking for a summer job. With each day that passes, I get more anxious about the 7 weeks between my last paycheck of the 2011-2012 school year and my first one of 2012-2013. I was complaining recently about my lack of employment to Kristi and told her that I should just open a bakery. Kristi, being the wealth of encouragement and warmth that she is, excitedly told me to pursue it. Now, I have no business sense or start-up capital whatsoever, so I’ll stick to teaching for the time being. One day though, I’m going to open a bakery. And I’m going to bake these.
Brown Sugar and Blueberry Mini Bread
2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp table salt
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup fresh blueberries
1/2 cup brown sugar (unpacked)
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and grease 4 mini bread pans.
2. Whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl and set aside.
3. Cream butter and granulated sugar together. Scrape down the sides of the bowl. With the mixer on low speed, slowly add the milk, egg and vanilla. Mix well.
4. Add the flour mixture into the bowl with the mixer running, a spoonful at a time, mixing until the batter has incorporated all the flour in.
5. With a rubber spatula, mix blueberries and brown sugar into the batter loosely. Be careful not to over mix. You want the brown sugar to not quite be blended with the rest of the batter.
6. Spoon the batter into the prepared bread pans, until 2/3 full.
7. Bake about 30 minutes, or until a toothpick is insert and comes out clean.
Today I had my first last day of school as a teacher. At the beginning of the year my little sister predicted I’d be “that teacher. You know, the one who bawls when the year is over.” I only teared up once, and thankfully so, because one of my students immediately said, “Ms. Cacciabeve, you don’t need to cry.” (I realize you can read that and think, “aww, what a sympathetic child!” No. Not how she said it. Not even close.) So Kelly, you were wrong. Ha!
Throughout the year I’ve kept (and tweeted) a list of the amazing things that come out of my students’ mouths. What you need to understand is that they have no idea that what they’re saying is funny. And since I posted the first half of the list earlier with the promise that I’d post the whole thing, this is me delivering.
Things 1st Graders Say:
“When I grow up, I want to be a cheerleader.”
“Know what I’m scared of? I’m scared of ghosts, monsters, and curly fries.”
“Are you going to the Holy Land Express?”
“…and Jesus came to take our punishment.” “Yeah, he came last night.” “Yeah, there’s lots of Jesus’s.”
“Somebody do the robot!”
“If you want to have a thousand dollars, you’ve got to be a millionaire.”
“Sorry guys, my mom said I couldn’t bring my gator head to school today. It’s just a head, the body is cut off.”
“There used to be two moons but they crashed into each other and now we have one moon. I saw it on the news. It happened yesterday.” “Oh yeah, I remember that, when we had 2 moons.”
“What kind of people make good leaders?” “Some can be French.”
“I know the devil!”
*child falls backwards out of her chair* “Are you ok?” “Yeah, I’m just seeing if I could get out of my chair if it was on fire.”
“Moms are sneaky…moms are veeery sneaky, guys.”
“It’s a patteren!”
“The ‘lellow’ box is right! Defeat must be mine!”
“Let’s be sexy girls!”
“For Halloween I’m gonna be Ashley Tisdale.”
“Is 1,654 a number?” “Yes.” “I TOLD YOU!!”
“We smell bad, guys. We smell like dead pets.”
“We’re not in a relationship!”
“I’m starving for death.” “What?” “That means you’re really hungry.”
“Did you know there’s 2 Egypts?” “No, there’s just one.” “No, it says there’s two in my Bible.”
“You should never go to Texas.”
“I prayed about sharks and dolphins and killer-back whales.”
“Did you know the moon is just a reflection of the sun?”
“Is Christmas about bombs?”
“You made my feelings sad.”
“‘Tutu’ is a bad word. It’s a woman’s private part. It’s her bladder.”
“What walks on 4 legs in the morning, 2 in the afternoon and 3 at night?” “Jesus!” “A werewolf!”
“You can’t light bombs underwater.”
“Something smells like dogs in here.”
“I found prayer!”
“I’m Italian. And Texas.”
“I will chipmunk on your face!”
“Can I get a gun? I mean a book?”
“…and the seals are the queens and the whales are the kings and the sharks are the helpers of the whales.”
“I’m taking ballet at the Jew’s church!”
“Who in the Bible ate food that was given to the pigs?” “The tropical son.”
[after explaining that we are mammals] “No, some of us lay eggs.” “I wish I could lay a golden egg.”
[a student to me] “You’re on my side, girlfriend!”
“I’m sneaking up the alligator.”
“You’re like a walking hall pass.”
“…and we were smokin’ butt!”
“Do you want to come to my house and see my dagger sometime?”
“What’s an ‘election’? Is that a disease?”
”’Kindergarten’ means ‘meatloaf made of kids’.”
“My dad has a door hamster.” “Do you mean ‘dwarf hamster’?” “No. Door. Like that one there.”
“No guts, no glory, no bombs, no guns.”
“I promised my mom I would have a good day with no farting!”
“Bosses don’t work in stores! They just come by and take the money!”
“Do you have any girl nephews?”
“Eagles are the devil’s animals!”
“Remember in the desert there’s a thing made out of sand that’s a face?”
“There used to be pirates but now they’re extinct.”
“George Washington he trusted God the first president.”
“I’m a stranger!”
[about the American flag] “It has 15 stars, one for every country in Florida.”
“90% of comic books are not real.”
“Do I have brown hair in general?”
[note: the answer is “every time”] Me: “When’s the best time to obey?” Student: “When a bad guy has a gun and tells you to eat candy.”
“Caterpillars and butterflies are friends. Some butterflies carry caterpillars on their backs!”
“…and he died in his sleep. Just like God.”
“I’m a scientist, I know how to spell!”
“Never get your number on craigslist.”
“I like the president ‘The Rock’ Obama!”
“He has ‘men-spray’ in his backpack.”
“That’s a Chinese man because you can see what he’s thinking.”
I will miss these kids.